I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
