I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
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