I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
