you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
