IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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