we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize