How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm passing your future prison.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
