and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Randomize
