Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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