We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
my being single is dangerous.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize