She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
