He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
