areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
