that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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