You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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