At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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