Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
