ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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