theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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