Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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