He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize