he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
