return my video game
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
