It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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