Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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