There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
