singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
