so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
