where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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