you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
