Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
this just has baby written all over it
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
