I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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