I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
