shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
