i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
