she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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