I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
