I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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