need another drink. this is the easiest way
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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