would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
it's great music for shaving your balls
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
