Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
