So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Couch. On fire.
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