come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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