Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
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