Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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