this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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