I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
