so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
