Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
