I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize