So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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