Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
