I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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