This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
