a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
There r osticjed everywhere
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
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