I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize