dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
