She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
