And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize