Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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