You really coming over, don't trick.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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