Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
