By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
i think i just lost a toe
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize